For many girls, 16 is a magical year. Your birthday is a huge celebration, and you start to get a bit more freedom.

For me, I didn’t get a huge celebration for my birthday, or any celebration for my birthday. It has been years since I had any sort of birthday celebration. But I did at least convince my parents to let me start to date.

But there were rules. My parents had to meet him first, then we had to always be supervised, usually by my brothers.

Up until that point, I wasn’t really interested in boys. I mean, sure I had crushes, but it never went anywhere. Plus, I would see my friends’ lives turned upside down by having boyfriends. They would lose interest in school and their friends. I didn’t want that. I had plans.

I was in the school newspaper, yearbook and tv production teams. I was also in the youth police academy and Air Force JROTC. My dream was to graduate and go to West Point and become an officer. So, boys were out the picture for me.

However, when I turned 16, something in me was different. It wasn’t that I really wanted a boyfriend, I was just curious about sex. Some of my friends were having sex at the time and they made it sound so great. I just wanted to know what it was about, and I was curious. Due to how I was raised, I couldn’t have sex with just anyone, I was only supposed to only have sex with just my husband. Since I wasn’t planning on getting married anytime soon, having sex with a boyfriend would be a fair compromise.

So, my parents gave me permission to date, not knowing why I wanted to date. A guy from my fellow Youth Police Academy ended up asking me out. I was a sophomore at the time, and he was a senior named Elvis. His dad was a big fan of Elvis.

He met my parents and then we ended up dating, which was really just meeting to have sex. I became what I dreaded the most. I began to lose focus on school and my future and focused more on having a boyfriend and having sex. We would skip classes and go to his place to have sex. I would sneak out at night, and we would go to the park to have sex. He would come over when my parents were at work and let my brothers take his car, so that he and I could have sex at my house. Wow, writing this all down makes me realize just how much sex we did have, which was crazy. But now as a mature adult, I realize it was just the hormones running rampant, as well rebelling against the strict rules my parents enforced on me all my life.

To be perfectly honest, I did not want to get married or even engaged. Even though I lost my focus a bit I still had plans to go to West Point and become a military officer. However, I couldn’t embarrass him either, so I reluctantly said yes. Since he was a senior, he already planned to join the Marines right after graduation. My plan was to break up with him after he left. Though that may seem a bit cold, I honestly thought that was the nicest way to get out of this sticky situation. Then again, I was just a kid, what did I know.

Now, he and both took Sex Education, it was mandatory at the time. And we did use a condom…. the first time. After that, we were careless and didn’t use any. The more we didn’t use one, the more we felt confident that I wouldn’t get pregnant.

Despite the fact that I was in advanced classes and had a really high GPA, I was really dumb and naïve when it came to real life stuff. So, of course, we found out that I was pregnant just after the school year ended.

My dad was out of town at the time, and I ended up telling my mom. She was upset but still calm. She asked me what I wanted to do, and I told her I wasn’t ready to have a kid. She agreed with me. She told me not to say anything to my dad when he came home, so she would tell him. I said OK.

Later, when my dad came home from his trip and my mom was at work, I just couldn’t keep it inside of me. It just blurted out me, “dad, I’m pregnant.”

I don’t remember everything exactly. I just remembered I just had to tell my dad that I was pregnant. I don’t remember if he yelled at me or not, but I know he was very upset and angry. I don’t remember how we got the abortion, but I do remember telling him that I wanted to get an abortion. He said no that he didn’t believe in abortions and so I wouldn’t be getting one.

Then, I remember he made me go to my room. I did. Then he pulled off his belt, so I knew I was going to get a spanking. Then he told me to pull down my pants.

What?

He told me again to pull down my pants.

I cried, begged and pleaded with him, no.

But he made me pull my pants down and then he spanked on my bare butt with his old leather belt.

I was such a good kid, I didn’t remember the last time I had a spanking, I had to have been in elementary school the last time. Plus, I never was spanked with my pants pulled down.

There I was, 16 and pregnant, naked from the waist down getting spanked by my dad who was upset that I was pregnant. What was that spanking supposed to accomplish? It made me feel so helpless and humiliated.

When I told Elvis what happened, he was pretty upset and wanted me to come to stay with him at his mom’s house. I will say this about Elvis, he was always there for me when I called him, and he always made me feel safe with him.

Even though I wasn’t ready to have a baby and luckily for me, he also felt that we were too young to have a baby.

When my mom came home and she found out what happened, she was upset with me. She told me that I should have waited for her and that she told me that she was going to talk to my dad. She said what happened was my fault for not waiting for her.

Elvis and his mother on the other hand felt that my father was unhinged and called CPS because they feared my safety. A mediator ended coming to our home to try to mediate the situation. My mom started off by telling Elvis how much she hated him and that she blamed him for getting me pregnant. Then Elvis told them how he and I were already engaged, but now that I am pregnant, we may just have to get married sooner than expected.

 Once my parents heard that they were instantly happy. They said this changed everything. That though I am still young, at least now I would get married and wouldn’t have to be a single teen mom.  

What choice did I have at the time? In Florida, I couldn’t get an abortion without my parent’s permission and my dad made it clear that he would not give me permission, because HE did not believe in abortions. So, what choice did I have? I got married.

My parents signed the paperwork needed to allow me to get married. We didn’t have a big celebration, we just eloped as quickly as we could at the courthouse. Elvis and I both agreed that we were not ready for a baby.

Soon after, we went to planned parenthood and got an abortion. I was in pain afterwards, but I wasn’t too sad. I knew I was too young to be a mom, I was still in high school! Plus, I knew what growing up in poverty was like and that was one thing I vowed to never do, was to have kids living in poverty. I knew the only way out of that life was through education and college. So, I felt that getting an abortion was the best decision at the time.

To this day, I don’t regret getting that abortion. Looking back, if I had gone through with the pregnancy, I probably would have never gotten out of poverty and maybe never away from my abusive parents.

I used to regret being so dumb and careless to get pregnant at 16. But now looking back, getting pregnant so young was my saving grace. It allowed me to get married at a young age, which then gave me the power to get away from my parents.

I shudder to think what would have been my life if I didn’t get pregnant, if I didn’t get married. When I was 17 and my father tried to rape me, I turned to my mother, but she didn’t even try to keep me safe. So, I called Elvis, and he again came to my rescue. He believed me and was more worried and scared for my safety than my own mother. I was able to leave my parents’ home forever only because I was married.

Getting pregnant at 16 saved my life.